Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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