it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize