Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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