does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
