Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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