I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
too bad you live with your parents still
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
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My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
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I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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