my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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