Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just want nice things and good sex
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize