does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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