my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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