Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize