last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize