when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
My vagina just recognized that song.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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