I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize