Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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