a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
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