Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
you inspire me to be a worse person
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
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