Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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