You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
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