operation have a gay friend backfired
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize