I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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