Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize