Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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