Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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