You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize