Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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