im about as happy as oj after his trial
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
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Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
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This is the high leading the old right now
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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