There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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