dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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