after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
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but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
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I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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