u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize