Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize