'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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