shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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