I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize