and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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