a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize