no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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