ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
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I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
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I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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