hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
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