so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
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I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
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Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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