Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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