My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
how drunk are you?
Several
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize