I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You're a waste of cheezeits
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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