the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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