My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize