Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize