I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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