I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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