Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
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took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize