I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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